The House of AWESOMENESS!

This is my HOUSE of AWESOMENESS!

We finally completed the "secret SPIDER project" and couldn't be happier with the results.

We are basically ready for Halloween! Just gotta buy the 12 pkgs. of LEMON JELL-O and the candy from Costco and we'll BE GOOD TO GO!!!!!! I'm so excited!

Fishin' Tales

So my brother has gotten me REALLY excited about fishing lately. I'm outdoorsy like that, in case you hadn't noticed by now. I enjoy the camping and wilderness quite a bit.

So last Wednesday was my first time fishing since I was about 10. I didn't really know what to expect. But the Salmon are running here - which basically means that they are swimming UP STREAM to spawn and lay their eggs and apparently all the manly men like to head out and catch as many of these slippery suckers as they can, within their lawful limit, anyway.

So...I head over to my brother's house. We call him Unca John (n. [un-cah jawn] - an endearing name you call the Uncle of Katie and Alissa and brother of Carm). So Unca John and I pack up the SCION - exactly what I wanted in my week old car...fishing gear, and DEAD FISH. We head off to the PERFECT spot on the Puyallup (pyoo-awl-up) river. We get there, find out piece of river, along with 150 of our closest friends...

Unca John gives me one of his Fishin' Poles to borrow and said..."Okay Carm, cast it in there and CATCH SOMETHIN'!"...I, of course, gave off the aire that I knew EXACTLY what to do with this long stick with trecherous hook and heavy dangly lead weight at the bottom...as if I had been doing it for years.

Get ready for some Fishin Terminology! I place my finger over the line and flipped the BALE (the little wire thingy that either loosens or clamps down on the fishing line), swung the pole around my right side and in one motion, swung the pole towards the other side of the river bank and let go of the line with my finger. Much to my surprise, the hook and sinker fly through the air and actually head upstream, across the river, JUST LIKE I WANTED IT TO! AAAAhhh...this is the life! Remembering how to cast your line is what makes life grand!

So the key to river salmon fishing is to secure your "SINKER" (usually a piece of metal/lead that is used to weigh down your fishing line and take it to the river bed) to your fishing line...then about 2 feet after that you secure your "Lure" (usually something shiny or flashy in color to attract the eye of the fish) and "Hook" (uh...sharp piece of metal, that if all goes well, hooks into the mouth of the Salmon so that you can scream at the top of your lungs "FISH ON!!!!!") so that if you can imagine your sinker falling to the bottom of the river and bump bump bumping along the rocks on the bottom and the 2' peice of line with the hook on it just floating ahead of your sinker hoping to "floss" the Salmon. ("Flossing" is when you have a salmon at the bottom of the river just kinda swimming in limbo staying on one spot...it's down there opening and closing it's mouth "Mwah...mwah...mwah...mwah" and in the middle of one of those "MWAH'S" you hope that the hook/line kinda grazes their mouth so that all you have to do is feel a little bit of a tug in your pole then you YANK THE HELL OUTTA YOUR POLE, usually in an UPSWING motion and in doing so, it sets the hook in what you HOPE is the mouth of the salmon. Then you REEL THAT MOFO IN LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!)

So I'm knee deep/thigh deep in the river...which is surprisingly warm. Can't see into the water because the Puyallup (pyoo-awl-up) river is EXTREMELY milky and if you were to dip your hand in just an inch you wouldn't be able to see it. And I'm casting my line like I've been doing it FOREVER! I'm putting on QUITE THE SHOW! You all would have been REALLY REALLY impressed! I was quite shocked at my casting skills to be honest. Every once in awhile I'd screw up my cast and call it a "Girl Cast" and I made sure to address it MYSELF before any of my new Fishin' Buddies were able to call me out on it. I was sure I was being watched...because; A.) I'm lookin all SORTSA cute in my Levi Cuffed Capris and Pink Water Shoes and Pink Hooded Sweatshirt. and 2.) I was the only CHICK on the river hangin with da BOYZ!

So Wednesday was rather uneventful because I didn't get to take any Salmon home. I was completely okay with that because I had gotten some really good nibbles and had a few fish on my line, but was just unsuccessful at reeling any of them all the way in...they managed to unhook themselves somehow, probably because I hadn't caught the hook into their MOUTH, but got a fin or their side or something, which I've been assured isn't going to damage them in anyway. And also...? I learned that it needs to be a "Clean Catch". This means you hook them in the mouth. Hooking them any other way and you should throw them back. And it's a SPORT. You wanna make sure you catch one Fair and Square, ya know? I'm totally on board with that rule.

Saturday rolls around and we take my oldest daughter Katie and my hubby with us. Hubby didn't have a license so he was just gonna watch us fish. We get up at 4:15 AM and I get all cute and pinked out. This time donning a baseball cap. it's RAINING CATS & DOGS outside. We didn't care...we're gonna be standing in the river anyway...well...me and my BROTHER were anyway. Katie would fish off and on during the morning, but hubby? He didn't bring a hat...or long pants...or warm water repelling clothes. So...BUMMER! We knew the forecast too, so...the pitifulness of him sitting under the trees all curled up with his coat over his knees didn't REALLY make me feel sorry for him TOO MUCH...but I admit, I didn't want him to HATE these excusions based on this experience alone, because it was my HOPE that we would spend a nice sunny day doing this as a family TOGETHER.

So as dawn breaks over the river and the sky goes from black to gray to lighter gray...and even lighter still we begin fishing. I got some REALLY GOOD fish on the line! MAN O MAN! I thought for sure a couple times I was just moments from bringing a fish into the river bank! AAAAhhhh...but they managed to slip off my hook JUST as they jumped outta the water and during my final yank onto shore! DAMN!!!! But each time I got a bite or started to reel one in it made me feel like I just got there and the excitement of what could be, got me totally stoked all over again.

So the morning goes on and the rain keeps falling and seeping into the pseudo water-proof jacked that I borrowed from my brother, the bites on my line making me more and more excited as the day trickled by. I decided to give Katie my pole so I could take a swig off of my Pepsi and grab a strip of Beef Jerky (oh yes...I took this trip seriously...Beef Jerky @ 7AM while you're fishin' is THE ONLY WAY TO GO!) and Katie casts her first cast. She did a pretty good job for never EVER fishing before! A chip off the old block!!! GUESS WHAT?!?!?!!? SHE CAUGHT A FISH!!!! Hooked it RIGHT IN THE MOUTH! Got it on shore and EVERYTHING! I was bustin' my buttons!!!! She was so cute! "Moooommmmm!!! I GOT ONE I GOT ONE!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Unca John in the background, "Keep reelin her in baby girl!!!!! GO KATIE!"...Low and behold she got it on shore and it was a BIGGUN! About 22" and about 6 pounds!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!! HER FIRST SALMON!!!!! WOW!!!

That kid was grinning from ear to EAR!!!! And we fished for about another hour after that until the sprinkling turned into terrential downpours and realized that it just wasn't all that fun and we packed up and headed home SOAKING WET, but still happy as could be that Katie caught her first fish!

Hubby said, after we got into the car, "Sorry Carm that you didn't get a fish!" and I was all..."HELL! I don't care! Katie got one! THAT WAS AWESOME and did you see all the dudes around us getting them? That was awesome too! And besides, I got a few fish on the line, I just couldn't get them all the way in! It was only my second day! I'm cool!"...and I think he loved me a little bit more after I said that, because sometimes, it's not the NOT GETTING what you want...but the JOURNEY it takes to get there makes it special too!

So I love you...I really do...you can ask ANYONE!~ Love, Carm

THROAT NUBBINS!! YIPES!

Okay people  I have a NUBBIN growing on the roof of my mouth! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?!?!?! Do NOT make me go to WEB MD or I could spontaneously combust. I'm freakin out because; a.) my tongue has a mind of it's own and keeps going up there to feel it; b.) It's starting to hurt when I swallow because the back of my tongue hits it each time I swallow my spit; c.) I have tried scraping it with my finger...and it's not going away; d.) I've tried PUSHING THE HELL OUT OF IT and it won't go away; e.) I have no idea what kind of doctor treats this kind of thing. f.) this started yesterday and now it's kinda buggin me like, A LOT; g.) I'm trying to revert to my natural childbirth breathing techniques so that I don't die from the panic attack I'm currently having, but let's face it, the second the REAL childbrith pain hit, I was so drugged up I can barely remember anything after the word STADOL and EPIDURAL - basically the rest of the time I was in labor I was high/numb...GOOD TIMES - I highly recommend it.

Alrighty...thanks for reading and freaking out with me a little.

Brittle Nails and Nerve Endings

I've quit biting my nails. It's a miracle.....for NOW.

The thing is, I've gotten acrylic nails at the salon for like the last 18 years. I love having them, but now I'm too cheap and let's face it. I cannot play my guitar as well - if at all - with them on. My uncle is about to disown me over that little minor detail. "How are you ever gonna be a serious Guitar Player with those GIIIIIRRRRRLY things on?"...so I have pryed them off for the last time. And it's been about 3 weeks.

My nails are PAPER THIN. I'm not kidding! Really thin and RAZOR SHARP! It's horrible. I'm keeping them painted right now because if they weren't painted they would be chewed down to little nubbins by now. And I really want to keep this promise to myself.

I always thought...if I could get skinny and grow my nails - I could be one hot momma. Sooo..I Need help! My nails are so thin that I can't stand it. I need them to get strong like NOW! So...I'm open to trying a few things. Whatever you suggest. I need ideas on how to strengthen my nails.

I can tell you two things....I don't want to take any kind of pills. And I don't need any nail biting advice. I strictly need ideas on things I can put ON MY NAILS to get them strong.

Okay....thanks...I love you...I really do...yo can ask anyone! ~ Carm

Farkle...it's much more than my favorite curse word!

   Holy Crap! FARKLE IS AMAZING! It's not just my new favorite CURSE word, and apparently I've been hiding under a rock because ladies? Are you sitting down?

THERE. ARE. FARKLE. PARTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Farkle is a dice game. Please tell me you have Facebook. You do? Great! So first...you MUST ADD ME! Carmen Hultman - that's me. kthanks. SECOND - LOAD THE DAMN GAME!

Once you start you may not stop...you have been warned. It is soooooooo damned addicting and fun.

So to recap: FARKLE is the new fave curseword for Carmen Hultman who you are going to add to FACEBOOK - like. IMMEDIATELY. At which point you shall dowload the game and let the GAMES BEGIN!

You are welcome...in advance. No...seriously...you don't need to get me anything. I do this all free of charge. Kloveyoumorethancornflakeswhichisalotifyouknowme

HOLY MOLEY! CT Look at THIS!

Holy mackerel, CT...I found your new AVATAR! If Chi ever gets bumped for GNO host...THIS IS TOTALLY GONNA BE YOUR AVATAR!

IS PNN BROKEN?!?!?! OH NO!

Where is everyone? I'm confuzzled. My comments are showing up weird and nothing is updating and I'm getting skerrd. IS ANYONE OUT THERE? WILL SMIFF? OPRAH? HELLO? NANNER? ARE YOU THERE? SALLY? Whaaaa? Where are you guys? KATE?? KIMBER? CT? MoM?? WHERE ARE YOU?

You know you BLOG too much when...

I dreamt about ALL of you last night. When I say ALL of you…I mean ALLL OF YOU.

Here’s how it shook down, I was camping, and along comes a nekkind nannerbrains with a Jew-Fro that went on for what seemed like DAYS. And when I asked her what she used to make her curls so cute and shiny, she said “Nannersmoothie”. And I was shocked at that answer, because I had used nannersmoothie lots of times, but I could get my hair to do that.

Then there was Sally…it was as if she was sitting on my shoulder with her chin in the palm of her hand telling me what a great job I was doing and making me feel great about every decision I was making.

Then there was HC. With her toned tan legs that went to her armpits. She had her entire amazing shoe collection with her trailing behind her in a Lil’ red wagon.

CT and Ms. Santos were arm in arm sharing libations and yelling“Fuck YOU’s” to their Bosses.

Annie was there, but as her alter ego and she always had this evil little giggle that escaped her as if she had just done something so terribly wrong that once you find out what it is, you are going to be sorry that she ever laid a foot on the planet.

Postal was there too, seemed like every time that I turned around he was pulling Annie’s ponytails and running off into the distance.

Snotty was there so we could “praise her”.

Hali was in my dream too – she was up front on a stage wearing all black and was reading her poetry and we’d all snap our fingers when she was done and pass around a doobie.

WMH was there too! She had a hat collection that would make a grown man cry and she shared with us all and we looked cool.

Kimber was hopping around the campground. Seems like every time I looked in her direction all I saw was her little bunny ass hopping away as if she was saying “KISS MY ASS” and apparently HC had beat me to it because of the lipstick back there already.

Philo was there, marching in a Gay Pride Parade, which caught me off guard. Seems like a campground is the LAST place you’d find a large population of gay ANYTHING…but she was having a great time!

Chita-Dashian was there in all her GLORY, holding a beautiful bouquet of roses, just like a bride. She was pretty.

Kate and Suz were buzzing around together, The Fairy was letting Suz hold onto one of her braids because there’s no way she could see when she covers her eyes like that. We started calling Kate a “Seeing Eye Fairy”.

Diva was selling her wares at the Gay Pride Parade and everywhere you looked people were lined up to buy her amazing bags. Somehow, her bags, had broken through the gender barrier and even though this was a Gay Pride Parade, Men high and LOW had one of her bags. She was an overnight sensation.

Matt Damon showed up and apologized for dumping me in vegas and I snubbed him and it felt GREAT!

So that’s it…that’s my dream. And the funniest part was that you were all either your avatars or the snapshots from the Phreak. So you were just little squares following me and each other around.

I can feel it building...

I just horked one of these down and now, I fear that I may be sick. Not only did I hork one of these delicious white cake with white icing and sprinkles donuts down, I washed it down with Pepsi and my brain is working overtime. I don't think I can sit still and let me tell you something else, ladies and gentlemen, my eyeballs are BUGGIN OUT! WHEW!

Sooooooo...I'm at work...high on donuts. Maybe these were "magic donuts"...kinda like "magic brownies"? I dunno...but I feel REALLY REALLY GOOOOOOOOOOD!

I love you, Carm

Soda Tab Purses! OH SO CHIC!

Found these purses @ the ocean last week. I had to share it since I just saw Suz's post about the candy wrapper purse. THESE PURSES ARE DARLING! The cool part? This one is using silver colored thread. But look what happens when you use different colored threads!!!!!!!

And it don't stop at purses. They actually make bracelets outta this stuff too! It's AWESOME!!!!

Pine Cone Patrol and "other" Patrols

Camping in the EVERGREEN STATE has it's challenges. It also has it's rewards, like giving me great material for my BLOG. I submit to you: PINE CONE PATROL!

So...it's Thursday evening. We arrive at the most spectacular campsite known to MAN! And it's time to start unloading the PURPLE CARM-KILLING MACHINE (a.k.a. my mini-van.)

The husbandito and I are on TENT-PATROL. And I send the little ladybug spawn out to collect sandcastle buckets full of pine cones.

I don't know why, but G-D has blessed me with the gift of creating the BEST Campfires. I'm an ace at it. And such as life, we always neglect to bring enough newspaper to start the damned things, so I came up with the PINE CONE PATROL. Little did I know - this was the start of what would shortly become my theme of the Memorial Day Weekend and my way to tie in the military-esqueness of the whole 4-day weekend trip.

It started with the daily PINE CONE PATROL! Followed by, BATHROOM PATROL, SHOWER PATROL, HIKE PATROL, TENT STAKING PATROL, SLEEPING BAG PATROL, MOSQUITO PATROL, FIRE POKING PATROL, LUNCH PATROL, DINNER PATROL, SODA PATROL, Pumping up the AIR MATTRESS PATROL...I mean, you get the jyst, right? I had a "Patrol" for everything that EVERYONE did @ Camp and beyond. I have no idea why I'm still alive sitting here typing this...but for the fact that I was in charge of FIRE PATROL and COOKING PATROL, the entire camp would have a.) frozen to death and 2.) starved to death. So..either way...I WIN...

Also...while I was away I was on BlackBerry Patrol and Twitter Patrol and Facebook Patrol, making sure that those who follow my every electronic move were fully aware of all my actions and how I felt at any given moment. Technology is great, isn't it?

Comic - did you like Calvin & Hobbes?

Comic - this one is pretty damn good...

Comic - Try these on for size

Comic  - that damned rat pic has GOT to GO! So I was told that you'd consider a new AVATAR, so here I am.

Whatever you have mist exude pissiness, so I've attempted to locate three items for submission.

#1 Ms. Pissy Frog

#2 Pissy Chick

And then there's classic Calvin and Hobbes as entry # 3.

I hope you like one of these. If you have something specific you'd like me to focus on - theme, specific character, etc - just let me know.

I love ya! ~ Carm

WRITING - This is for you!

It took me long enough! This was a challenge. And I obviously need to broaden my horizons and read up on this fine lady...

This one is gorgeous and I suppose I could have come up with a real life picture, but this one spoke to me.

I hope you like it and it was worth the wait! :o)

Another Great Wal-Mart Story

Here's a great one!

Okay  so this is how I imagine this conversation  went:  

Walmart  Employee:    'Hello  'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'  

Customer:  '  I would like to order a cake for a going away  party this week.'  

Walmart  Employee:   'What  you want on da cake?'

Customer:  'Best  Wishes Suzanne'  and  underneath that 'We  will miss you'.  

STOP  LAUGHING!       

 
    You  can't fix stupid. 

Dr. OZ - on Douching

Okay...my best friend Oprah had a great show tonight and after American Idol I switched it over and there he is all dressed up/down in his scrubs.

Oprah - "To Douche or not to Douche?"

Dr. OZ - "The vagina is a self cleaning oven. You don't want to be putting stuff in there."

Oprah - "lol lol lol lol *head thrown back mouth open laughing* lol lol lol lol" *clearly her mind and the audience's minds all went straight to the gutter*

Audience - "lol lol lol lol lol lol lol"

Dr. OZ - "Okay...I'm outta here!"

And that was HI.LAR.I.OUS.

Wipeout - Have you SEEN THIS SHOW?

I think my favorite game show/average Joe Gladiator show is Wipeout. You have seen this show, haven't you? Check out the ABC lineup. It's damn hilarious.

My favorite event? The big red ball bounce. The objective? Start from a solid stable platform and bounce across 4 HUGE...and when I say HUGE...I mean HUUUUUUGGGGEEEEE red rubber like balls to the ending solid stable platform. I have never seen anyone get past the 2nd HUGE red ball. Usually after getting off of the first one, there is a face-plant involved with the not-so-graceful landing on HUGE ball #2 What's more? The contestant faceplants on ball # 2, bounces back to ball #1 and bounces between the Balls #1 & 2 until eventually they land in the brown murky water below - after which, they swim to the ending solid stable platform to hit the next obstacle.

This show is hilarious and if you ever find yourself having a stressful day, it will certainly brighten what's left of your evening.

If you watch this show and don't laugh, you are not a Human.

Silly Words/Phrases I Love

Here is a list of words/phrases I love - I will use them in a sentence when I think it's necessary as sometimes the word or phrase needs no explanation or example. Feel free to use them in your daily lives and don't feel obligated in any way to think of me when you do...even though now that I've said that, you aren't going to be able to avoid it...now ARE you?!?! hehehe

FLIPPIN FLIPPERS - What in the FLIPPIN FLIPPERS is going on here.

Ba-jeezus - You scared the Ba-Jeezus outta me!

SHIT

TWITTERPATED - This one, you'll have to indulge me...it's from one of my favorite Disney movies this is the owl speaking: Nearly everybody gets "twitterpated" in the springtime. For example, you’re walking along minding your own business;  you’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face Who-o! Who-o! You begin to get weak in the knees, your head’s in a whirl! And then you feel light as feather, and before you know it you’re walking on air, and then, you know what? You’re knocked for a loop! And you completely lose your head! in other words our friend, the wise old owl, is telling us that the Springtime makes us HORNY BABY!

Heebie-Jeebies - That creepy lookin dude is giving me the Heebie-Jeebies.

SHIT

HOLY FILLOPIAN TUBES! - usually stated when I get cramps every month.

De-Funkify

shplink shplink - the sound of ice hitting a glass

WHAT-EV!

SERIOUSLY!!

Dummy-Dumbheads!

Stupidheads

Yesindeedy-doo

Yessirreebobgeorge!

Sunzabitches! - Those god-damned SUNZABITCHES!

That's it folks...at least that's all I can come up with at this moment. Thanks for reading. I know...what kind of BLOG post is THIS?!?!? A dumb one, thank you very much! Not everything has to have depth and insight! Just ask Will Farrell! Hehehehe...I wanna be his friend.

I love you...I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

A few things about my day today

I get an email on my blackberry this morning from my boss...who is also my mother. Informing me of the 3-day rule. Apparently we have this 3-day rule @ work *we employ 7 people and have an employee handbook that would put the US Armed Forces into a TAILSPIN* The rule states in layman's terms that after missing 3 days from an illness that all employees are asked to bring a doctors note to return to work. WELL HELLS FUCKING BELLS PEOPLE!

Let me just say that my mother has the stupid Web MD bookmarked on her computer and when she feels a twinge she looks up her symptoms there like she's going to die in 2 hours or something - so she and my dear old step-bastard are, what I would consider, HYPOCONDRIACS. So unfortunately I had to spend my money to satisfy their sick and twisted hang-up about the fucking doctor today.

As I suspected, I have, what is considered to be the common cold. Yes, I'll even do that old nyquil commercial for you...sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever...that pretty much sums it up. It pretty much kicked my butt for several days.

So for the last week my parents have been suffering from the same goddamned thing as me. In fact it's their stupid fault that I got sick in the first place. And today was going to be my last day being home, this morning I felt a lot better, but still thought that one more day would give me a chance to ensure that no one else would get sick with this crap.

3-day rule. Carm - you have to go to the doctor. FINE! *stomps foot* Call my doctor and they inform me that there is a two week wait, but I am more than welcome to visit the Urgent Care clinic next door. YANK THE FUCKING E-BRAKE! URGENT CARE?!?!?!?! FOR A GODDAMNED NOTE TO GO BACK TO WORK? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Yep - I had no other stupid choice than to go to a stupid Urgent Care clinic. I sat there for an hour. Sick people ALL AROUND ME who seemed much worse than I was spreading their disgusting germs all over the damned place. I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't come away with something WORSE than I walked in there with.

Call me CRAZY, but does me having the tail end of a cold even require medical attention? Don't you ever feel that you arewasting other peoples time unnecesssarily? That's how I felt today. The doc was very kind, mainly because I laid it on the line today when he asked me what I was there for. "I'm here because my bosses are hypocondriacs and forced me to come here to get a note so I could go back to work, which I planned on doing tomorrow. I felt much better today, but really thought that today would be good for me to stay home just to be sure." He agreed with me. I felt bad that I wasted his time, I really did. That waiting room was filled with people who were worse off than I was.

I feel better, I guess...but to be honest when the doctor left to fill out all my paperwork and create the letter and popped his head back in and asked if I wanted to go back tomorrow, I said, "Meh...I guess"...and he kinda giggled and closed the door and finished up my paperwork. Wouldn't it have been super-dee-duper if he had decided that I needed to take the next 3 days off work and just start fresh next Monday? That would have made my day.

Feeling better and can't wait to re-join the land of the living tomorrow.

I love you, I really do! You can ask ANYONE!~Carm

Sick day No. 5

I have been flat on my back for 5 days!! WHOA! I've decided I'm a REALLY REALLY pathetic sick person. It got so bad at a certain point that my ass and my back were so tired from laying in my bed that I thought I was gonna die. ACK!

Also...just to calm everyone down right outta the shoot, no it's not swine flu. It's just a really REALLY shitty cold.

Today, my kids came home and I hadn't had anything to eat for the whole day. Just a glass of OJ and some water. Kids came upstairs and I had a really weird reaction...tell me if this has ever happened to you, okay?

So having not eaten all day - I was a bit dilerious. Hungry...really hungry. Was watching the stupid damn food network and apparently Cinco De Mayo is tomorrow so you obviously know what they are all cookin' right? Yep...chinese. NOOO...of course it's Mexican Food. My FAVORITE. Tyler Florence, the cutie patooty that he is, was mixin up some Steak Fajitas. So I texted my husband who said that he'd come home if I needed him to - I didn't, but I wanted him to know that I was REALLY hungry so that perhaps he'd hustle home and make some din-din.The first SOS was that I was starving and my tummy was painfully growling. The second SOS reads:

"The kids just got home and I'm hungry. Is it weird that when Alissa walked in our room all I could see was a big juicy fried chicken drumstick talking to me? You better hurry home...and Tyler is cooking freakin' Steak Fajitas. Hurry! The kids are in danger."

He then texted back and said something like: "I'm going to stop by the house, get the van, go grocery shopping, and fill the van with gas. Unless you want me to do that later."

WHERE IN THE HELL IS THE SENSE OF URGENCY? I love this man more than I can say, but if you wanna piss me off REAL QUICK? Take for fucking EVER when I'm hungry. And it's not just that I had missed a meal...THAT I could have handled. The simple fact that when my stomach growled, I could actually feel the aftershocks in my neighborhood that registered a 5.6 on the richter scale MEANS SOMETHING. And it never fails. Here's an example of the lack of urgency...and if you're a MALE, by all means please explain what I need to do differently to get my point across - PLEASE.

Here's how it shakes down: I'm gonna eat one of our children if he doesn't get home and make dinner in a jiffy. I beleive he understands the fact that I'm willing to eat my first born like a crazed feline who has no sense of right or wrong. He gets home...says hey to the kids...opens the mail...plays with the dog...comes up...gets involved with watching the stupid show I was watching on TV...asks me how I'm doing...my STOMACH answers him...the ensuing aftershocks prove to him that I meant business about the eating of the children...he heads downstairs, but before he does says..."Would you like some Orange Juice"? My relpy? "I WOULD LOVE SOME ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU!"...

Now...you'd think that the OJ would be on its way up in short order, right? ~heavy sigh~ Nooooooo...it wasn't. It was about 10 minutes later and toodle-ing up the stairs is my youngest daughter...la-la-la...not a care in the world...I didn't share with her that earlier she was almost devoured. She hands over the OJ and I begin to guzzle it and she noticed saying, "Wow, Mommy. You musta been thirsty!" YA THINK?!?!?! She hops down the stairs one step at a time as 7 year olds will do from time to time. I could hear her going down to the kitchen to deliver the "Thank you" message I had told her to say to her Daddy. I hear them giggle to eachother and I hear more of my huzzy doting on the pooch of the manor. He loves that damned dog. She's awesome, I'll admit it...but between the time I texted him about eating a child and now had been about 3 hours...AND COUNTING!

About 1/2 an hour rolls by and I'm not smelling any food yet. WTF?!?! I decide that the OJ was all that I needed to top off my bladder and headed downstairs for a pit-stop. ARG...no dinner going.

You want to know how this works when he's sick? Watch this: He's sick, tells me he's hungry. I ask what for? Fajitas? Okie doke! 15 minutes later DUDE HAS A DAMN FAJITA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was that so hard?

The food was REALLY REALLY GREAT once it was finally done and yes, I should thank my lucky stars that I even have a man that would even remotely know what ingredients go INTO a damn Fajita. I'm really very lucky. I know I am...

My kids have really no idea how lucky they are that they didn't get eaten today. I hear they taste like chicken.

I love you! I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

Carm's "I GOTTA HAVE IT" list

There are a few things...more specifically "Material Things"...that I just cannot do without. I plan on listing them here for you today. Of course there is always my husband and children and close and extended family members and since I love so many people that are in my life, I feel that the words "extended family members"  means my friends as well...so having said that...let's get on with it, shall we?

Remmel Lipstick "Coffee Shimmer" - my lips have never looked so good. Actually that isn't true...my lips are one of my best features - or so I've been told - but I love the way they look with this shade slathered all over them!

Aussie Sprunch Spray - holds my hair-did in PLACE, I tell you!

Cheap Blingy Sunglasses - when faced with a bad hair day - even when the sun isn't shining, placing them on the top of your head to hold back your bangs or the sides of your hair is just what the doctor ordered.

Uni-Ball Vision Elite pens - in assorted colors. Because my job isn't picky about the color of pen I use, I mix it up everyday and it makes me feel happy. And besides...these pens ROCK!

My V-neck black cardigan. It's my wardrobe staple. I wear it with everything. I'm kinda chubby so buttoning it in the right places gives off the illusion of a trimmer tummy. Problem is these stupid clothing designers are making round necked cardigans now and they look STUPID on me. Sunzabitches!

New! 5 Gum - Peppermint. I chew it all the damn time. Not like a "daft cow" or anything, but I do chew it. And I LOVE IT!

Clinique Almost Powder Make-up. It's fabulous and opening that little light green compact makes me feel squishy inside every morning.

Pepsi - it's delicious, what can I say?

PNN - how else would I spend my day at work? Actually WORKING?!?!? YEAH RIGHT!

Facebook - I have found oodles of people that I had lost contact with and would be sad if it ever went away.

Cilantro - yep the herb. It's delish!

Pier 1 Signature White Dinner Plates - they are classy and refined. When I dish up food on them, they make my meals SING and look divine!!!

Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer - how did I ever live life before I got this handy kitchen gadget? It does everything! I have a black one.

My Big Red Comfy Couch from Dania - someone else's mistake turned into our blessing! Walking through Dania one day, I sat upon what would be my impulse buy of the century! When I say down...I screamed for my husband. He was off in another part of the store. I'm sure the Dania staff was moments away from calling security on me...but I didn't care. Apparently someone had had this couch custom made and much to their dismay, they couldn't fit it through any of the doors in their house. YAY ME! I have ginormously wide doorways for an old house. $600 smackers and we loaded that sucker into the van. We were only there to be lookie-loos too! YAY! You sit down on this couch and you enter another WORLD!

My Blackberry - this thing has revolutionized the way I conduct my daily life. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing...I think it's mostly good - when it works properly.

I'm the SPECK!

I'm the speck...

I get on those kicks of "insignificance" sometimes. Like...are you ever driving down the road and get this overwhelming sense that your presence and existence is just such a small part of what goes on that it's almost insignificant?

Compared to the planet or even the UNIVERSE - you are really this small speck of sand and how DARE you get so caught up in your own drama's and life when there is a world out there deteriorating before your very eyes or countries of starving people out there or someone who has a husband and two children and a house and a dog and two cars and they just learned that one of their children is really really terminally sick and here you sit...behind the wheel, stressing because your kids didn't do the damn dishes last night! Makes me feel really full of myself and quite frankly DUMB for even thinking that I have ANYTHING to worry about.

Am I alone here?  Could I be the only one who gets so caught up in my life's goings on that I get lost - forgetting about what really matters? Do you think you could ever be as observant as Horton? After all- he noticed a speck on a clover and saved Whoville from certain DOOM! Have you noticed a Whoville lately?

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone! ~ Carm

Kid Swap Day No. 2 - SUCCESS!

  On Sunday it was KID SWAP day at Carms house!

My husband took our 12 year old with him for half the day and I took the 7 year old. We were going to spend quality time with each of them and then meet up at 1 PM for some lunch and then SWAP!

This probably won't work for you if you have more than two children or are a single parent with more than one child...or...are a polygamist...hehe...but if you are the picturesque family of four, this works GREAT and let me tell you...it makes the kids feel like a BILLION bucks!

You couldn't get the smile off of my 7 year olds face. We held hands and acted silly skipping through the mall and bought her some awesome Vans®. And just had a great time giggling and driving through Point Defiance (a ginormous park here...you can drive through it, there's access to the Puget Sound,a big fat ZOO...playgrounds and picnic areas-a-plenty and it was SUNNY to boot!!) We had a great time.

Daughter #2's turn after lunch and we decided we were going to take our dog to the Dog Park. Oooohhh...this was fun. But our pooch was POOPED because she had gone of a 5 mile run with my Huz that morning and she ran and ran and ran at the dog park - she's apparently the Forrest Gump of canines - and her tongue was big and fat and she was panting like crazy, so we took her to the doggie water fountain. She drank and drank and turned around and looked at us with a pitiful doggy smirk and headed for the gate like she wanted to go home. We tried to get her back running and having fun but she was DONE! So we took her home and headed to the mall.

What a great day. If you have never done something like this, I would encourage you to take a break from your to-do lists and the stresses of your life and just simply enjoy the company of your children. It really helps you dial-in what's really important. Those kids were so proud to be with us alone and were so thrilled to be the one who planned the day, yo u just can't imagine.

How long has it been since you've seen the sparkle in your childs eyes? How long has it been since YOU put that sparkle there? Yesterday is the answer to both of those questions for me...what's your answer?

I love you! I really do! You can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

Nephew's are GREAT!

  So this is the tale of my Nephew Jakoda's first birthday party.

First birthdays are an awesome event, wouldn't you say? It's really honestly just a time for the grown ups to gather and get to hang out, give lots of toys away and eat cake.

So...on 04/20/09 we celebrated Jak's birthday. we gathered at Holly's sister's house. That's my brothers GF...and I LOVE HER!

We hung out with the family and since this was a first birthday, you realize that this will be the messy cake birthday and so we opened the gifts first. He squealed with glee with every gift that was opened...........actually I think it was more HEY GIMME THAT BACK! Because - let's face it, watching a 1 year old open gifts can get a wee bit labor intensive! :o)

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now for the cake!!! isn't he CUTE?!?!?!?!?! I love that kid. Too bad that when he catches a glimpse of Auntie Carmen is acts like I'm the worst person on planet earth! Which is really weird cuz I'm a bit of a goofball and normally kids totally DIG that about me.

So here he is with HOLLY (his mommy) and she made the cutest little block of cake for him so that he could demolish it! Isn't it CUTE?!?!

And so he poked and licked and tasted the frosting and we're all sitting there waiting for the PERFECT moment to snap pictures and then it happened.

 It's mostly my brothers fault. He really wanted him to tear into that cake and all he was doing was licking the frosting off his fingers and getting it on his face a little. So...NATURALLY...he grabbed Jak's hand and smashed it into the cake and this is the result!

Oh...and the onesie he's wearing...CUSTOM MADE! On his booty it had a bullseye and it said spank here! Too damn cute!

Okay that's it...I had to Blog about it because Holly peeked at my BLOG today and noticed that I hadn't blogged about Holly OR Jak yet and couldn't decide whether to be offended or releived! HEHEHE!

40,000 year old Mammoth and other thoughts

It's been in the news, a 40,000 year old Mammoth has been discovered COMPLETELY PRESERVED!

I received my monthly copy of National Geographic the other day and on the front cover...there she is. The sweetest looking prehistoric animal I have ever seen.

Apparently she was submerged in silt and mud which caused her to be completely encased and "entombed" and perfectly preserved! They could even see how she *gulp* suffocated by breathing in the mud and where it is lodged in her trunk and esophogus. The poor dear.

This got me thinking...and we'll see what you think in the comments and all...but what do you think about all this? A 40,000 year old Mammoth. What about the Bible? Hmmm? Isn't that the beginning of time? I'm in no way a Theology student...but if you beleive in the writings and what the Bible says...then what about these animals? Go with me on this journey before you dismiss what I'm saying here because it goes a little deeper than this...

Who is to say that the scientists are  right ? What I mean to say...is that science has come a long way, there's no doubt about that. But when it comes to the scientific evidence and "dating" these prehistoric animals, is it possible that we - meaning, us humans, could be *gulp*  wrong  ?  Is it possible that the dating methodologies that we use are flawed in some way? Is it possible that the way that we measure the age of these types of things could be a theory that everyone bought into and someone was just a really REALLY good salesman and got some of the "powers that be" to buy-in to what they were selling? Did they drink the magic "cool-aid" - so to speak?

And on the flip-side - did you ever think that Carm-Dashian would ever get this deep? hehe

I'm really interested in this...if you have a view on it...let me hear it. I'm really trying to grasp this stuff. :o)

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone! ~ Carm

Juicy Booty Girls - UNITE!

**~Juicy Booty Girls~**

It's high time that someone created a "club" for girls with junk in their trunk. I nominate myself for the task.

I say to you...you who were blessed with a big juicy booty (or those who aspire to HAVE a juicy booty)...join me in making Ba-Donk-a-Donks as admired as they should be! It's time to RISE UP and embrace your juiciness!

Raise your glasses with me and tip your hats to the JBG! (Juicy Booty Girls)

I want you to wear those tight jeans with PRIDE! Shake that rump girls! SHAKE IT! (Muffin-Tops not allowed...keep those underwraps for GOD SAKE!)

Keeping up with the Carm-dashians!

Kill me now, but I got hooked on watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians last night! These girls are...well...incredible.

Here's the 411 on the DASHIANS. Dad Dashian worked on the OJ trial. He died...I think he got cancer or something. These girls are OBVIOUSLY absolutely GORGEOUS, what I think is funny is how they KNOW and they have like no qualms about knowing that they are THE SHIT and the world is here to cater to their every whim.

One of the funny parts of last night was when Kim, who can drop $29,000 at a store EASY, was given an INTERVENTION by her family and an obvious gold-digging interventionist. They beleived, and I have a feeling they are right, that Kimmy-dear has a shopping addiction. Only thing is, that every one of her family members, except Bruce Jenner (her step dad of all people) had this smirk on their faces like they were gonna be rolling on the floor with laughter at any minute! The gold digging interventionist made Kimmy give her credit cards to Khloe and thought that this was the step that Kim needed to overcome her addiction. It was obviously edited, but this whole process took like 30 seconds. The second the dude walked out the door Kim grabbed her credit cards back and everyone fell onto the couch in a big pile and started cracking up!

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?! These sisters crack me up. I love it when they walk into a room they call each other bitches. "Hey sexy bitches"...and how about when Khloe, while working in her salon handed a customer a pair of jeans and the customer said "Thank you" and she walks away all sassy & says "You're Welk!". I LOVE THAT! I totally say YOU'RE WELK allllll the damn time. Its just so cute.

So I've decided that I'm gonna be the 4th Kardasian sister, but you can call me Carmdashian! You sexy bitches! I love you. I can assure you that I will make Khloe look like the anorexic sister, but not for long, with Bruce Jenner as my step-dad, I'll be whipped into Wheaties Box shape in no time! There's room in the family if you can stand being as beautiful as us.

Kiss it bitches, I love you. ~ Carmdashian

Coloring Easter Eggs is tricky business!

So the fam is gathered around the kitchen table, because let's face it, people...coloring Easter Eggs is messy business! The dining table is too fancy for the coloring of Easter Eggs. On with the show...

My husband, the amazing and talented architect that he is, is taking 3.2 hours layering colors and wiping the egg and re-dunking the dang thing for so long that the kids and I doze off...

Fast Forward to 9:30 pm and the MAESTRO puts down the stupid copper wand - by the way, note to the Easter Egg kit people. LISTEN UP CHUMPS! We need more than one friggin wobbly copper egg-getter-outer please. This is RI-DONK-U-LOUS! One damned copper egg-getter-outer for FOUR people ain't cuttin the mustard! HOOK US UP, SHIT!!! Back to the show...

Kids and I are ready to dig in. I decide to try to be the crafty one, because let's face it - the kiddo's eggs can look PRETTY RAGGETY! So I decide I'm gonna ONE-UP them. Aren't I a great mom?

I decide to go with the PLAID model. It's gonna be great. Dark blue is first...I go for the finger method. I like to be hands on when I color my Easter Eggs. I hold onto my egg and dip the skinny tip into the dark blue stinky vinegar-water just about 1/3 of the way. Aaahh..perfect. Wipe it down with a paper towel, which is the key to good Easter-Egg coloring.

Next up is the pink. Again with the finger grip method. This time - flip that puppy around and dip the rest of the white part into the pink. Hold it...hold it...PERFECT! TAKE IT OUT QUICK! Whew! That was CLOSE! Almost kept it in there too long. Let's move this thing along...purple goes on the big chubby end of the egg...VWALAH! three colors...it looks great! okay...now for the vertical stripes. Gonna go for the light green and then yellow. IT's GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I place it in the BOX that all the Easter-Egg coloring kit comes in because they have those circles you can punch out and then you can use it as a DRYING RACK! Apparently they think of EVERYTHING...except more of those damned egg-getter-outers!

The kids continue making their eggs and as I sit there I notice all the extra cool stuff they give you with the kit. There are these little plastic decorative sleeves that you can slip your egg into. I thought I'd show the kiddos how cool their eggs could look. So I grab my plaid masterpiece and tear apart the plastic sleeve and commence with slipping my egg through. Hmmm...I must've grabbed extra large AA eggs. So I'm slipping my egg into the sleeve and it's a little snug so I just wiggle it in centimeter by centimeter. It's almost there. I look up and notice how cute the kids look decorating their eggs and SMASH! My friggin MASTERPIECE crushed in my DAMN HANDS! Dammit to hell! That was the coolest easter egg I had ever dipped!

Completely deflated, I tried to take a picture of it for my PNN family, but the photo came out really fuzzy. Yeesh - coloring Easter Eggs is tricky business!

Happy Easter! I love you, I really do...you can ask anyone! ~ Carm

I wanna be their FRIEND!

So my all-time wish is to be Will Smith's friend. Please understand..it's not because he's "hot" (thanks Paris for that little slang term)...it not because he is, as we call it in our house "L-O-D-I-D". I'm not in it for the fortune or fame...I just think he is a COOL DUDE!  Look at him...he's all "Wassup Carm-dogg?!?" I'm all, "SUP WILL SMIFFFF!!!" He loves his wife, he's silly like me and he can DUMB-DANCE like a MO-FO!

Oh, I'm not done...my list goes on...

Oprah. She would enrich my life. She's a lovely woman who I could just really feel that I could make laugh. I don't know...I think she'd get a kick out of me. Does that sound conceited? I hope not.

The Obama's. I want to be their friend. I know - that is too much to ask. WAAAY too much. I just get so warm and fuzzy when I see them that I just want more - not in a stalker kind of way...in an, "I want them to come over for dinner once-a-month" kind of way. Wow...look that them. She's waving at me, I think.

Vince Gill. The dude is a teddy bear and I love him. He's got one of the most beautiful voices of all time and can play the guitar like nobody's business. I'd love to sing harmony with him. While I'm at it, his wife, Amy Grant and I could go shopping a few times a month and just chit-chat about silly things. I think that would be awesome.

Alisson Krauss. I want to sing with her. I have a decent singing voice and had I not fallen for my high-school love and gotten hitched at the ripe old age of 19 I would have persued a singing career. I would love her to invite me to a recording session and watch the silliness unfold and close my eyes and listen to her sweet, sweet voice as it fills me with pure joy. Pretty thing that she is!

Simon Cowell. I think he's not as bad as they say he is and I would enjoy being with him without all the cameras around to see what he's really like. Look at that smile...he can't be all bad, right?!?! hehehe

Africa. I want Africa to be my friend. It's true. Is that even possible? Whenever I hear of my friends going on missionary trips to Africa...I get all goosebumpy and immediately start to tear up. Perhaps if Oprah decides that she would be my friend, she'd let me work at her school. I would enjoy that. There is something to be said for a culture who looks so happy when they have so little. I may never want to come back if I ever get a chance to visit there. Look at those faces. I could just smooch them all over!!!

Michael Buble. His voice melts me. It's got nothing to do with his boyish charm or anything...I just wanna hang with him. It'd be awesome to sing with him as well. He just oozes coolness and I suppose that I just want some of that to brush off on me.

I think he's laughing at a joke I just told him...he's all, "Carm...that was a HORRIBLE joke!"...I'm all, "I know, Mike...just thought it would make a good reaction shot..." 

 Ashton & Demi - look at em. I wanna be their friend! Who'dda thunk it? Not me! Probably not them, but I'm oooooh so happy for them! And I think Demi just took a picture of me! Hey Ashton - You guys are cute! No, that's okay...I'll stay over here! Catch'ya later!

That's it for now - it took me forever to post all those pictures...it's almost dinnertime!! LOL I love you - I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

~LAST MINUTE ADDITION~

This one is specifically because...well...it's by special request - and quite frankly...while the rest of my "I wanna be their FRIEND" nominees are purely for the legitimate friend category...Johnny here...well...I wanna jump his bones. As the picture states...he's "YUMMY" and well...how do I put this? "Word Nerds" turn me on. Yum-O!

The OCD's that make Carm...well..Carm!

Okay are you guys ready for this? This is either going to make you laugh hysterically, love me unconditionally, or it's going to make you give me the "Stink-Eye" for the rest of my time here at PNN.

I want to share with you a few of the OCD's that I have accquired over the years. Some of them I even find funny...some...NOT so much, here goes:

1.) Doritos - may as well start off with a funny one. Imagine if you will a paper towel laid out nicely on a table preparing to recieve a lovely tuna sandwich. I pull out a bag of Doritos and shake a few into the middle of the sliced sandwich, just like Mom used to do. I sit down with my beverage of choice and it starts...

After I take a bite of the sandwich, I begin rooting through my Doritos. flicking them and turning them over and scooting them around on my paper towel as if i'm searching for buried treasure. No...it's not buried treasure I seek, it's the broken bits of Doritos that didn't make the journey in tact. I have this "thing" where I can't eat the WHOLE Doritos until all the littlest bits are eaten. I basically end up piling the whole "in-tact" Doritos on one corner of the paper towel and root through and size up the remaining Doritos making sure not to eat the larger ones before all the little ones are sized up and eaten in order from smallest to largest.

When it comes to the Doritos that are whole...those get picked through as well. The ones that lay flat are eaten last...the ones with curves or the ones that are curled over are eaten first.

The logic? I have no idea...I've said before that I feel the ones that made it through the shipping process are good little soldiers and deserve the dignity of being the last to be consumed. And there you have it.

2.) This one is REALLY serious! Raw chicken. I cannot TOUCH IT! It throws me into a tizzy and completely FREAKS ME OUT! We purchased laytex gloves so that if I'm ever by myself and have to handle it, I can do it without directly touching it. I really don't want to type anymore about this one. It's grossing me out.

3.) I live in Washington...more specifically Tacoma, Washington. My father is an alcoholic and I have memories of him coming and getting us (my brother and I) when we were younger and one night he took us to a town called Orting. Those of you who have heard about Mount Rainier know that the Town of Orting is in a world of hurt if the mountain ever blows...anyway...So he took us to Orting and went into a bar and left us in the car for 5 hours or something while he was in there getting wasted. To this day I cannot drive through Orting and if we even get close, I start having a panic attack and get really fidgety and start breathing funny.

4.) Along the same lines as the last one, I have a panic attack when we approach and drive through, past, or anywhere NEAR the Roy "Y". This is an area in Spanaway, WA that the road veers one way or another. This is another issue my dear old dad is responsible for. I think I was 15. We were being taken back to my Mom's after a weekend with Dad and he decided he needed to stop off at a bar on the way. Sat in the truck for about an hour and finally busted through the door at the bar and walked right in and grabbed my Dad and told him to get me the "HELL" home. He said he had a stop to make first. We went across the street to a mobile home park where he said he needed to get something from a "friend". Told me I could drive the truck through the park for "fun" while he was in there. An hour later...he comes out...stumbling with a huge bottle of vodka in his hand tipped his head all the way back...bent his knees, leaned back and guzzled it and commenced with puking right there in the middle of the road! At which point...I slammed open the truck door, promptly told him to "GET THE FUCK IN THE TRUCK RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!" and I drove myself to the "meeting  place" because my mother and my step-bastard didn't want him to know where we lived for obvious reasons...and it was a few hours early - told my Dad to "Get the HELL outta here!" and so my brother and I just sat there waiting for them to show up.

5.) The pens in my desk organizer MUST all be sitting "tip-down". This is the only way to ensure that the ink will reach the tip of the pen and you will be able to write with it INSTANTLY without having to do that little ~shake shake shake~ I see people do that DON'T place their pens tip down. And if your desk is within 20 feet of me, I'll be stopping by once a day to ensure that your pens too, are in the correct position...which is what? TIP-DOWN! That's right! Very nicely done!!!

Okay...5 is good for starters. Sorry I got a little deep there for a couple of them, but I told you in the beginning it might not be all sunshine and rainbows.

Thanks for listening - I love you, I really do...you can ask anyone! ~ Carm

Nausea and the Creme Egg

Okay...I think I over did it. I really should blame my BFF Tammy. You see she bought me two - COUNT EM, TWO - boxes of Cadbury Creme Eggs and gave them to me on Monday evening - each box containing four - COUNT EM, FOUR - of these delicious Eastery confections. So...Tuesday I took them to work. Yes...I ate two.

Yesterday, about mid-way through the second egg, I felt it. I could have sworn that if I looked into the mirror I would have had a green, grinch-like tinge to my skin. Far be it from me to leave any of this treat for later...I just popped it in, chewed it up and swallowed it. WHEW!

Today...well...today, I had another. And...I think I need to just put them away, or give them to my mother who can hide them until she feels that I should have them again, because...whoa NELLY, my peeps...I'm feelin it!

If that stinkin' Cadbury Bunny shows up at my house tonight, I just might toss my cookies. And, NO...I'm not pregnant. The doctor did a STELLAR job on my husbands vasectomy 7 years ago...less than 1% of the little swimmers are still active...and besides that, I'm not sure...but I think I'm headed for "the change". Can you be headed for "the change" at the tender age of 37? I dunno. I'm the same person who just KNEW I'd die of kidney failure just like Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolia's too...and I haven't managed to make that happen yet.

Okay then...that's it. I love you, I really do...you can ask anyone! ~Carm

Simon? May I have a word?

Hi Simon, Carm here. I'd like to speak with you about all the nonsense that you bring up on American Idol when critiquing the singers. No, no Simon...please - just shut your pie-hole. Thanks.

You see...I hear you say every once in a while to Paula, "It's a singing competition...not a fashion show." So when you say things like, "You sounded great, but what are you WEARING?!? It's HIDEOUS!" Simon...Simon...Simon...the black t-shirt is getting a bit stale, isn't it? How about the ameteur buzz cut that seemed to be parting itself right down the middle this evening, shall we talk about that? I didn't think you wanted to...it's okay...enough with the smart remarks...just zip it!

Let's keep it a singing competition. I'm not so sure these people are even in charge of what they wear. Let's keep it to what you know...not what you obviously have challenges dealing with yourself. Didja ever think of wearing a nice button down shirt on the show? I mean for Christ's SAKE, man...it's obvious that you don't give a shit...but SERIOUSLY - if you're giving fashion advice, ask Tyra if you can be a judge on Top Model and see what happens there.

Thanks for your time...I have so many more things to do...and I'm bored with you.

Regards,

Carm

Into the Wild - SEE IT!

My husband - brilliant architect extraordinaire - just so happens to work with a gentleman who worked on the movie, "Into the Wild". I had no idea what to expect...but hubby did. He purchased the movie and couldn't wait to get me in front of this flick. After almost 18 years of marriage...he know's I'm gonna DIG IT!

So we begin watching this film, and I'm really enjoying the journey to self-enlightenment this privelliged child had gone on. He left everything; his past strewn with memories of abuse and infidelity by his parents; his education and career dreams; his family and friends. it's a true story. It's directed by Sean Penn. I mean - after telling you who directed it, you should have basically already ran out the door, right?

The story follows him on his journey and the people he meets and grows to love and they all make a mark on his life and he on theirs.

I don't want to type anything else, I just want you to see it. I really do! It moved me...it still haunts me. ugh...there goes the stinkin' waterworks.

SEE IT!

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone! ~ Carm

OH - HIPPIE ALERT (if you're not appreciative of the hippie lifestyle, you're probably going to be turned off right away...open your mind...eat some special brownies and enjoy)

The old "Stink-Eye"

This is perhaps one of the biggest epidemics of this century. The willy nilly use of the old "Stink-eye". I was watching Juno for the 362nd time the other day and I saw it again. It was such a small part of the movie...but it sure stood out. Juno was talking to Bleeker in the hallway at school and she was confronting him about taking Katrina De Voort to prom which she told him to do anyway - but she's all offended because she's a pregnant emotional wreck and the size of a "planet". The wit in this movie is more hilarious than I could ever dream I could ever be. Anyway...I digress...

So I decided to do a little experiment. I wanted to see how often I inflict the old "Stink-eye" on the general population. So today I began my personal journey of discovery. How often in any given day do I dole out a "stink-eye".

It started this morning. I gave the stink-eye to; My daughter Katie, my husband, my dog, various drivers on my way to work, the lady at the coffee stand in the lobby of my office building, my mother who - lucky for her - works across from my desk, my step-bastard - he got it several times, when he walked by, when he called me on the phone, when I read his emails - then there's my co-workers, like the one in front of me now talking about his stupid computers at home and how he thinks he's maxing out the electrical capacity in his apartment because he rebuilt a computer over the weekend - shyeah...like I care! STINK-EYE - BLAMMO!

As you can see - this is a very serious epidemic. I fear that my face will freeze like the one you see above of the actual stink-eye from the movie Juno - yes...that is our precious little Katrina De Voort. It's a good look, right? it's not any cuter on me, ladies and gentlemen, I ASSURE you!

How often do you inflict the "Stink-eye"? Be honest.

I love you, I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

Cream Eggs from HEAVEN!

It's my FAVORITE time of year. And it just so happens that I'm PMS-ing at the same time so I am getting myself SICK...SICK, I say off of the wonderfully delicious - yet all too sweet - CADBURY CREME EGGS! This little oval shaped balls of Chocolate(yes I capitalize Chocolate...so sue me!) and what the Cadbury company calls "fondant" are just...so...EXTREMELY FABULOUS that I just can't seem to get enough of them. it's about the only thing that my kids can look at me with those puppy dog eyes and I don't cave and huddle around them with the "crazy eye" and scream MINE MINE MINE!

if you plan on getting me an Easter basket this year...be a DOLL and fill it FULL of these precious gems.

I love you...I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

Tales of PMS

SORE BOOBS ANYONE?!?! First of all...yes, the correct terminology is "BREASTS" but I'm....well....I...I...just don't give a crap, okay?! My mother lovingly refers to them as Bo-Bo's - which is totally embarassing to admit..but if I can't share this here...I'll have to take it to my grave, and honestly...how fun is that?

So it's been about 6 days. And I'm sorry if you're one of those "nuts & twigs" - types...who thinks that the human form is the most miraculous thing ever, but I wish I could just cut em off. They have served their purpose...I have no need for them anymore and it just irritates the hell outta me that my husband enjoys them - there are no more children in my future. The pain that I feel 7-8 days out of every month is soooo...unbearable that I would rather do without. So...there you have it.

Shall we discuss my pissy attitude for a moment? Well...too freakin' bad! I'm gonna anyway. Something happens around the 17th of every month. I turn into a raving psycho bitch from hell. And unfortunately since normally I'm a little ray of friggin sunshine for about 22 days a month people get all TOUCHY because I just tend to keep to myself during the most SENSITIVE days...in my feeble attempt to not get pissed off or piss anyone off inadvertently with a snide remark or a "tone". BUT...it never works. I am fortunate enough to work for my parents. Could you sense the sarcasm in the word "fortunate"? I thought you could.

My mother must instinctively know how to piss me off and then in turn pisses herself off because she keeps egging me on until I explode all over the office in an unfortunate turn of events called "Oh SHIT! Carmen is PMS-ING AGAIN AND HERE COMES THE MUSHROOM CLOUD!". Normally we get through it okay...but it doesn't help that her office is DIRECTLY in front of my desk area and she can hear every desperate sigh, every slammed drawer, every under-my-breath comment. I actually blame her for my attitude problem. She had the same issue when she was my age...and if she tells you any differently she's a damn LIAR!

So things that normally piss me off (See my post - Don't POOP on my day! Located under "Things I wish I could say")...seem to take on a life of their own and I can actually FEEL the aneurism forming. I probably spelled that word wrong...but you get my damn point. It seems like I almost black out I get so pissed. In fact...my step-bastard called me into his office to wrongfully accuse me of something the other day at work and I think I really had an out of body experience. I mean it. There was a point there...where I think that I blacked out for a minute. I think he hit me during another SENSITIVE time with some crap about something that really doesn't matter and for the first time, I slammed a door...stood in front of it and commenced with the screaming fit and managed to drop about 30-40 F-bombs on him in one form or another. All of this shook down in about less than 10 minutes. He was just sitting there with his mouth open. It was a thing of beauty. And when I was done...I opened the door...and sat at my desk and commenced with my work load. It was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not really looking for ways to de-stress my life...so save all your great advice for a time when I ask for it...right now it might just throw me into a tizzy because I'm outta control!!!!!!!!

But not too outta control to say, I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone!

~Carm

A Work Tale - Part Deux

I worked for an eviction company. Now..I'm sorry if you've been evicted but let's put that aside for the moment. I'd also like for you to tap into your "I don't give a shit" side for a moment as well.  Okay...are you ready? Are you sure? Okay...

I LOVED THIS JOB! We had a program where people with rentals could sign up and we'd collect their rent for a fee. If people were late, we'd be able to move forward with the 3-day pay or vacate notices and further if necessry to the point of going over to the rental and placing their belongings on a tarp on the street. For the record...we never kicked a person out on the street who paid their rent on time. If we kicked em out, it's because they deserved it!! Before you get all pissy...think about the following:

For those of you thinking, "WOW! Carm is a cold hearted witchy-poo!"...think again. Have you ever stopped to think about the folks who own the houses/apartment complexes of those who don't pay rent? Well, take a minute to put yourself in their shoes. Many times...these folks are paying a mortgage on the house they LIVE IN and the house they are RENTING OUT! What happens if the income from the dimwit that doesn't pay rent doesn't come in for the month? Have you ever tried to pay TWO MORTGAGE PAYMENTS?!?! I sure as hell couldn't afford it! These people who don't pay are putting the owner of the property the renter is living in, in jeopardy of foreclosure for not making payments!

Anyway...this job ROCKED! We had this girl come in, I'll call her ANGELIQUA...she came in late ALL THE TIME! Every single time she had this sob story about how she has SICKLE CELL ANEMIA and how she's always sick cuz of her SICKLE CELL. I'm thinkin...this girl is workin' the system. SICKLE CELL rolled off her tongue like she says it in her SLEEP! You can tell she has gotten a TON of mileage out of her SICKLE CELL. It's no laughing matter, being stricken with a disease like that, but I assure you...it's not the sole reason of her not making her rent on time EVERY SINGLE MONTH for over 1 1/2 years that I worked there! It got to a point where she'd walk through the door and try to hand us compliments on our hair & clothes and how pretty our nails were. ACK! So Angeliqua was quite a character!

There was another time where this lady came into the office to give me her rent and GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN - I got high the instant she walked in the door! She tried to hand me cash...I had to turn her away, cuz we ain't takin' no cash for rent payment...shooooooooot...and when she came back later I remember seeing her pull up and asking if the other girls in the office wanted to get high for free - they could just come on up into the lobby and get hooked up. But when she walked in she was all fresh as a daisy with her money order in hand - she must've taken a shower or something.

This was by far the funnest job I ever had. If I didn't like someone's attitude...I could tell em so and it was perfectly okay. I could tell someone to go to hell and my boss would be right behind me or on my headset feeding me lines like Ashton Kutcher on punk'd. It was GREAT!

It all came to a screeching halt when I got FIRED. Oh LORD, don't get me started on this one...suffice it to say that I was dogged by another employee and someone put something in my desk to cover their own ass and the owner of the company wouldn't take my OR A WITNESSES word for what took place. Anyway...it was fun just the same!!! That was the first and only time I had ever gotten fired. WOW! That was a growing experience! Very humbling. Even though I was in the right...it's still really hard to hear those words. To think that people actually sign up to hear Donald Trump say them! WHOA!

I love you...I really do...you can ask ANYONE ~Carm

To Follow or Not to Follow...

Hiya dollfaces! I just realized why my crackberry has smoke billowing from the little speaker holes...it's because I've gotten so damned addicted to PNN that I have selected the "right" folks to follow apparently.

You are all wonderful, and I would hate to think that I'm gonna miss out on someones absolutely wonderful posts, but I think that I have maxxed out the amount of people that I should follow. This saddens me too, because I enjoy so many of your posts. It's just that I went to help my Step-Bastard/Boss with something about 20 minutes ago and I have like 32 emails (the crackberry gets emails, you know...it's really REALLY awesome...) and they are all from either the folks I follow having added another post or because I commented on one of your posts and got an email because apparently the "Conversation is still PERCOLATING"! That's a CRAPLOAD of info and it's no WONDER I'm not getting anything done!! LOL

I have no self control...as aforementioned by the size of my juicy booty...did I just say aforementioned? Did I even spell that right? All you smarties are rubbing off on me, I don't feel comfortable unless I try to use a big word in a post nowadays. LOL @ myself trying to fit in! Back to my self control issues...or lack thereof...I can't stop myself when my little blackberry vibrates, I just gotta see what's SHAKIN! I feel so popular! SOOOO much better than high school! WOOOHOOO!

So I'm afraid I'm at a "FOLLOW STALEMATE" and I don't want to offend anyone, so I'm just gonna keep the ones I have and continue commenting on the blogs that I run across but for now my "follow" list will have to remain the size it is.

So my question is this (took a cue from hbanana ;o) hehe): How many are on YOUR follow list? Do you find that you're getting inundated with crackberry emails or regular emails? Are you a "picky follower"? And lastly, do you always have that little box checked when you comment on someones blog?

I love you...you KNOW I do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

The hand of...?

Whether you are a believer or not...this picture is certainly eerie to say the least!

The hand of God? Whoa...(Twilight Zone music here)

Nasa says that it's various gasses and electromagnetic among other things. Space is quite the mystery...as are the Heavens. I suppose it's all in what you believe, eh?

I love you...I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

A Work Tale - I SHIT you NOT!

Do you have a crazy workplace story? This is the place to vent if you do or have had some stupid crazy experience that you just can't keep inside. SHARE IT MY LOVELIES! SHARE IT! Here's mine to get you started!

I worked at a Nissan Dealership in Eugene, OR. GO DUCKS! I was a cashier in the Service Department with oh-so-much-more-potential, but I wanted something in the automotive industry. You see, Hubby was getting ready to graduate with Honors from the U of O and the Architecture Department and then we were gonna head back to Washington State and I was going to work for my parents - they do Automotive management training to the general auto-repair industry - sooooo...a dealership would help me get my feet wet so-to-speak.

So I get hired. The admin office was situated behind a wall right behind my desk: it's where all of the dealerships deals were recorded, financing happened - along with the service department.

The ladies in Admin were something to behold. It seemed like they were normal, they took an awful lot of smoke breaks - even the ones who didn't smoke went out with the others...it was like a stinkin mob of zombies walking outside every hour it seemed. They'd never releive me so that I could go out - in fact after awhile I was seriously considering taking up smoking just so that I could take a friggin break at that place. After a couple months of working there, I had gotten settled in and WHAMMO that's when it happened!

One Saturday - I was the only one working in the Admin area on Saturdays...the mail comes, I shoot the breeze with the mail man - he leaves, I kinda look through the mail as I had done countless times. OOHH! A People Magazine! Cool! I had gotten into this kick of doing crossword puzzles and instantly flipped to the page with the crossword puzzle and took a photocopy so that I could do it while I was bored. Everyone did shit like that around there!  Hell! I crocheted 3 baby blankets while I worked there and made no attempt at hiding it...they just didn't care. All the admin girls photocopied the People for the crossword too, so I knew this was a normal activity.

Monday morning rolls around and I walk in all cute and bubbly...I hear my name, peek around the corner and they say...can we see you in our office please? Manager and assistant manager call me in and sit me down and pull out a sheet of paper. Ladies...I shit you NOT. I got written up for taking a photocopy of a People Magazine's crossword puzzle. I didn't even write in the goddamned magazine, people! It was stunning - to say the very least.

Now...this was one of those moments where you say exactly what's on your mind...the ones that you WISH you would have said, but didn't have the guts to when you were in the moment? Yeah...well...this job, I personally didn't give a rats-ass about so I said with a straight face as they gave me the opportunity to respond and handed over the paper for me to sign...I said, "Let me get this straight. I'm being written up for making a photocopy from a magazine?" they said, "Yes you are..."...I paused...and said "Am I on candid camera or something?"...they got really REALLY serious and told me that they were dead serious and they would need me to sign the document and I said with a little smarmy laughter..."Well...I won't be signing that." i promptly stood up and walked out the door.

When it came to me leaving that position I did so by pinning a note to the office managers door and told them to roll up the People Magazine and shove it. AAAhhh...how liberating.

Okay now it's your turn. Let us hear it. Give us all the DEETS! I love you...I really do..you can ask anyone!!! ~ Carm

Worst Hair Cities? Are you SERIOUS?

Corpus Cristi wins again...but did you know? In my very own home state of Washington...in the city of Olympia...we are Ranked #3!!!!! YEAH!!! I couldn't believe that of all the things on the news last night, that Olympia's hair-don'ts made it. What is the world coming to, ladies...I ask you?!?

I love you...I really do! You can ask ANYONE! ~ Carm

Taaa-Daaaa, It's FRIDAY!

Kinda cute/gross, don'tcha think?

I love you..I really do...you can ask ANYONE!

This is SO going in my BLOG!

Sometimes it's a funny comment, or something that trasnpires right before your eyes...it can be touching, funny, sad, uplifting, inspiring, maddening, frustrating or just plain BORING...but no matter what it is...THAT IS SOOOOO GOING INTO MY BLOG:

Two bald eagles flew past the window in our lunchroom today - we are on the 6th floor on a hill so we have the highest vantage point of all the other buildings in town - it was AMAZING - you could tell instantly that they were mates - one male and a female. GORGEOUS - flying tandem, side by side - wings spread wide, gliding through the air - THAT IS SO GOING IN MY BLOG!

My 7 year old decided today that she was going to teach herself how to ride her bike WITHOUT training wheels! I was making dinner and peeked out the window and holy mackerel! SHE DID IT! I was throwing dishtowels in the air and screaming, waving my hands in the air and I was just so proud of her. Daddy & Sissy were in the other room downloading music and she was out there all by herself, doing something that she was determined to do! She was busting with pride, cheeks pink from being excited and from being wind swept and cold, but grinning from ear to ear! THAT IS SO GOING IN MY BLOG!

I watched American Idol tonight - I'm not ashamed of it either. I think that Matt or Megan is going home, and it's a shame. I think Matt has one of the best voices in the competition. I think that he wants to sing alternative/modern music when he "makes it" - and unfortunately his voice SHINES when he sings R & B. He's gotta decide whether he wants to sing what the judges want him to or what he wants to do for the rest of his life and people are not ready for him to do "what he wants to do yet". Too bad...THAT IS SO GOING IN MY BLOG!

My dog, Sierra LOVES to lay on blankets... WE on the otherhand would prefer that she didn't. Our fabulous children tend to allow the blankets to fall on the floor where they are just begging to get layed on. I'm looking down at her right now and there is ONE SQUARE FOOT of blanket hanging off of a chair on the wood floors and she is sitting on it making sure that not a single paw is hanging off the edge. THAT IS SO GOING IN MY BLOG!

I'm addicted to HOUSE HUNTERS on HGTV. Suzanne Wang shakes her hips when she talks and 99% of the time I pick the house that the people end up picking. I'm awesome like that! THAT IS SO GOING IN MY BLOG!

Thanks for reading! I love you, I really do...you can ask ANYONE! ~Carm

BLOG's are like babies...

It's come to my attention that I view my BLOG as my "baby". I have a mama bear mentality when it comes to the design, layout, and content. At times, I get a wee bit over-protective about my thoughts that I put here.

All of this may come as a suprise...but I don't like it when I get a snooty comment on my BLOG. Let me define snooty for a moment. Snooty = someone who disagrees with me as I try to explain my feelings and innermost thoughts. Sometimes...it's difficult to articulate how we feel about certain things.  FOR INSTANCE: the title of one of my BLOG entires refers to teachers as DUMB. Obviously if a person were to actualy read what I wrote, you would see exactly why it is that I felt like that. And it DIRECTLY relates to this post, yessirreebobgeorge, it sure does.

Again...referring to the "mama bear" mentality...in my previous entry that referred to teachers being "dumb" - the reason I did so was two fold - first of all I was an unknown here at the old PNN headquarters. I had to make myself stand out - or so I thought. Coming up with a title to a BLOG entry is one of the most important parts of even typing up a story or entry. Some people do it after they write the story...I - on the other hand - tend to come up with the title BEFORE I write it. When I sit down it's usually in the heat of the moment and I know what I'm trying to express so I just let it flow and I know what the punchline is before I even get to it, thus, my titles. I said two-fold...so the other FOLD would have to do with the catchy title being something that draws in a reader. If your title doesn't catch someones eye...you may as well just buy yourself a diary and keep it under your mattress.

So when I wrote about this particular teacher and how she treated a class of 7 year old 2nd graders...calling them the "worst class she ever had" I took the Mama Bear approach and decided that I'd write to the school and handle things the best way I knew how. Then I BLOGGED. Blogging a GREAT therapy. You can get stuff out that you never could say out loud, yet...you actually ARE because there's this awesome community of people who you can bounce things off of.

ONLY THING IS...people actually have an opportunity to respond to your rantings and ravings and feelings and hilarity. So when someone tells you that the title of your BLOG entry is hilarious or "Hypocritical" in my case...you naturally either revel in the fact that you are the most hilarious writer on the planet for that single moment in time OR...and yes...there's an OR....OR, you get offended when someone calls you a Hypocrite...which in turn, makes them a Hypocrite because they were commenting on how hypocritical you were being in the first place then they go and drop the H bomb on YOU and WHAMMO...you're all sortsa ticked off and then you leave a comment...curiously enough....on your OWN BLOG, scathing as it sounds and you feel better about yourself because you were able to make an example of this person and WHAMMO AGAIN...you begin this vicious cycle that puts people in their place all because, let's face it...you WERE actually being a little hypocritical, now weren't you? Yes you were.  What a tough pill to swallow that was!

I for one, don't mind coming off as shallow, but that's just one of the layers of the onion that makes me....well....me! I'm a sarcastic, funny, witty, critical, compassionate, strong person. And at any moment, you never know which layer is going to present itself.

So I would like to make one thing abundantly clear to those who read this. I enjoy your comments. I welcome them. I reflect on them and marinate in them. I just want to make sure everyone knows how these comments tend to affect the writers and when you leave a comment it's more than just words...they MEAN something. Yessirreebobgeorge they do!

I love you, I really do...you can ask ANYONE!

~Carm

Natural Disasters...

So this is one of those really strange fascination/obsessions that I have.

I LOVE...and I mean LOVE a good old-fashioned natural disaster. It's the weirdest thing. The big news of the day is that Mount Redoubt erupted today in Alaska...or last night, late. I think I love volcanos most of all. A good hurricane runs a close second if not at a tie for first place.

Let me just say this...I do NOT love to see human suffering. That part of it is really sad. But I'm in awe of these events when they happen. There's no control. NONE! It's just nature doing it's thing. It mezmorizes me! I get entranced with it!

I was unemployed, thank goodness, when Mt. St. Helens decided it wanted to grow this HUGE chunk of mountain in her crater about 4 years ago. I was completely GLUED to the television (hence the "thank goodness" for being unemployed, I was offered the luxury or sitting on my butt for that immence spectacle) and computer watching with amazement. Something about the earth re-inventing itself left me speechless. And the Tsunami?!?! Fuggetabboudit! I was totally horrified by that trajedy, but at the same time...that wall of water that approached land and left in it's path such death and destruction..it's amazing!

We had flooding here this winter. Dams were busting, rivers were cresting, towns were flooding and all I could do is just sit there and watch. I imagined that scene from Evan Alighty where the Ark was just floating along the water that busted the dam...wow.

Anyway...it makes me remember that I'm not in charge. There are things that are beyond our control. And you know what? I'm completely okay with that. I think that sometimes we get so carried away with being in control, that it takes one of these humbling moments to make us remember that we can't control everything. It brings us closer as humans. Gives us sympathy and grounds us. Teaches us compassion...because you know what? You certainly see what we are made of in times like that.

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone!

Carm

Random Thoughts

I've been sitting here all day thinking about PNN! I just signed up like 3 hours ago and it's all I have been able to think about! I have an official BLOG PEOPLE! Holy mackerel!

I just remembered that I have a vacation day in May coming up...that's only 2 months away...I wonder what we're going to do?

I'm getting a headache...

I haven't twittered for over 3 months and all of a sudden, Holly decides that she's gonna "follow" me! WOW! That kinda gave me a new lease on life, let me tell YOU!

I love my kids.

My vehicles' days are numbered and I have asked my brother to work on finding a replacement...and I'm being very specific on what I replace it with. It'll be a Pontiac G6 - preferably 2008. I want it to be black with a bit of chrome splashed about it. I want leather heated seats and a bumpin soundsystem. Tinted windows would be nice.

It's amazing how much work you can get done when you know that your boss will be leaving early and you'll have time to mess around!

The people who cheer me up on a daily basis are: My Hubby, Katie, Alissa, my pooch...she's a people too! Also Diana, Joanna, Tammy, Deanna and sometimes even Robert! LOL @ That last one - because, by the way, he was my boyfriend in high school and we just found eachother on Facebook and that dude is funny, let me tell you!

My shoes are currently hurting my feet.

I love the sound of the CLICKETY CLICKETY on my keayboard when I type! I like it best when I haven't had my nails done in awhile. The newness of the sound is...so...CUTE!

I LOVE TILLAMOOK TERIYAKI PEPPERONI STICKS!

Michael Buble' is a GOD!

I wonder why things can get so bad that people actually kill themselves. Why can't anyone see the signs?  Not trying to lay blame, just wondering...

Why is it that after 8-9 hours of sleep, I feel more tired than I do after 8-9 hours of work?

Okay...that's a good Blog for the day.

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone!

Carm

Show me the ropes...

Hello readers,

Here I am at work, signing up for a BLOG space where I can share my thoughts, thanks to a dear friend of mine - she blogs here too - ladydi.

This will be somewhat of a boring post, because it's one of those "get your feet wet" posts.  You know the type? The one where you post it just so that you can see how it lays out on your page? Yep. Is that like COMPLETELY OCD or what?!?! LOL @ Myself.

Anywhoo...I'll be Blogging like there is no tomorrow very soon, so be ready! I just wanna see what this puppy looks like.

Stay tuned...you'll be entertained, I promise!

The first of many, signed:

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone!

Carm

Husbands and Texting

Texting and Husbands do not mix!

For starters, there was a time where I thought, "Lord, strike me down if I ever get hooked on texting!"...then it happened. The unthinkable...and I have to say that it's more from peer pressure than anything else, but nontheless, I'm hooked!

This became apparent when we recently took a trip to Portland, Oregon from Seattle, Washington. Having recently acquired a Blackberry, I have seemingly entered the "Land of No Return" and it has gradually and swiftly become what those of us that OWN Blackberry's call, My Crackberry.

Even as I type this Blog Entry, the Crackberry is vibrating in my desk drawer and I stopped typing to see what kind of communication it was! Alas, another Facebook update from one of my "Friends". PEOPLE! I'm busy...I'll be with you in a minute! I'm telling you, this thing is taking over my life.  It's like a nervous TICK! every few minutes, I'm hitting the button to illuminate my screen so that I can see if someone is sending me an email, or facebook message, or myspace message, or a text message. I'm really quite embarassed about it...but I digress...back to our story!

The trip begins with several Facebook status updates, which is a form of texting and that I'm completely addicted to doing as well. Hubby looks at me out of the corner of his eye.  AND WHILE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT...it's not like I'm not courteous...I don't hve an annoying ringtone or anything...95% of the time my Crackberry is set to vibrate.

Later that night I get to a point where I'm texting my friend because we are getting ready to meet her for dinner, and a few texts go back and forth and hubby says - in a VERY frustrated voice - "Why don't you just CALL her?!?"...slightly offended I say, "Okay!! Yeesh! Calm down!" Looking back on the whole thing after about 15-20 texts we sure could have gotten a lot more done had we just spoken...but texting is FUN!!!!!!!!

Regardless of his disgust, I have decided to text in his presence. After 18 years of marriage...yes this makes me a 37 year old who text's like the wind...I've decided that he can just deal with my new addiction.

Today...I texted to him, "I'm thinking about you. I love you." And you know what?!?!?! He texted BACK...and apparently, HE LOVES ME TOO!

Thanks for reading!

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone!

Carm

Nectar of the GODS

The age-old question...COKE or PEPSI? You KNOW you were one of those people at the county or state fair in the late 80's standing in line to take the Pepsi Challenge! ADMIT IT!

I never realized just how much Pepsi I can drink!  I love this stuff! Not a day goes by that I don't have one. Yes...to quench your overactive imagination, my waistline unfortunately DOES reflect this fact...however how can you trade happiness for a size or two smaller jeans? NO THANK YOU!

So...tell me...are you a Pepsi or a Coke drinker?

And by the way...I'm not blaming my waistline...or EQUATOR on Pepsi alone...I'm a junk food junkie. I also enjoy lounging on the couch as much as possible. :o) One of these days, I'll snap out of it...perhaps the closer I get to being 40, but as for now...I will enjoy the EQUATOR I have created and scrack open a Pepsi and wait for the comments to FLOOD IN!

I love you..I really do, you can ask anyone!!!

Carm