Ew, ew, and EEEWWWW!

I'm a fairly tollerable person to know. I'm a great friend and I have a knack for making people laugh. I will bend over backwards to help a friend or family member in need. Life o' the party, that's CARM. I tend to get close to people quickly, but have this awesome 6th sense about people. I can tell if one bad apple will spoil the bunch and I can pick out that bad apple in a HEARTBEAT. I get a sense of the type of person someone is before I even speak to them. A bit shallow perhaps...or could it be that I'm intuitive about this sort of thing? There are just some people I don't want to associate myself with. It's not snobby, it's just...well...the way it is.

So, HERE IS THE GOSSIP:

I worked with this lady and she was allllll about getting "to know me"  and we were forced to go to lunch together. (Step-bastard/boss is a control freak and would prefer to have the upperhand at all times and if he senses that you're uncomfortable with something he'll just let you sit there and marinate in it for way too long.)

This lady was just whackadoodle. For MONTHS we had to go out to lunch together and she would burp...and when I say burp? I mean...BUURRRPPP!!

Kinda like those dudes on the Simpson's @ Moe's Bar when they burp their big old cartoon lips vibrate and you can almost smell the beer breath? Yeah...a gut vibrating belch. So that's like really gross to me and would almost make me toss my cookies at least a dozen times through lunch.

The funny thing is...I got this weird vibe when she came in to interview, but apparently because I shared this with the Step-bastard it was one of those MARINATE moments and he hired her, from what I can tell, based solely on the speed at which she typed. I mean...there was NO OTHER REASON FOR HER TO BE HERE! She was just GRODY! She was tidy enough and apparently enjoyed scrapbooking and a host of other things, but she just wasn't right.In fact someone told me once that she would buy a new comforter like every month because she had so many cats and they would piss and poop on it ON HER BED and she would just buy new ones. ACK!!!!!!!!!!! And if she ever wore a shirt twice, I would have been surprised. She told someone here that she doesn't do laundry so when something gets dirty she just throws it away and buys a new one. ACK!!!!!!! SHIVER ME TIMBERS!

So we'd get back to work after lunch and sit in the lunchroom and I would be reading a magazine or something...just kinda trying to pass the time so that I could get back to work and away from this disgusting creature and I could feel her staring at me. it was really really REALLY freaky. It was like she was taking notes on my facial expressions or something so she could try them out at home. *shudders* I have no idea what was going on with that. Even the lady that works in my department spied on us one day for me. I told her to watch and see what this weirdo was doing when I was reading one day. So I get back from lunch and she was all..."CARM! She was TOTALLY checkin you out. It was soooo freaky!"...I was all..."I could FEEL IT!! I think I have cooties now."...and she was all..."You might need to get a restraining order."...and I was all..."I think I'm calling the National Guard - she might be on the America's Most Wanted list or something!"...she was all..."That might be wise."...and I was all..."Us ladybugs are smart like that."

So, the moral of the story is, " Ee, EW and EEEWWWW!". The end.