WHO DRANK ALL THE DAMN VODKA?

So...we were prepping for our Vernal Equinox/Spring Solstice Party. Any calendar event works for us...we aren't picky...and let's face it, it had been awhile, so SPRING SOLSTICE it was!

The invites had gone out and we were about a week away when I decided to take inventory of the liquor cabinet and DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!! Where did all the damn VODKA go? We hadn't had a party for quite awhile and last time we PARTIED LIKE ROCKSTARS, I had purchased every stinkin flavor of Smirnoff Vodka that the liquor store had and to my recollection not much had been consumed. I'm not much of a drinker because a.)my Bio-dad is a raging alcoholic, and; 2.) meh...I like more of a "natural" high....

So much to my dismay...the bottles were there...but alas, they were empty - or had very little in them. Which made me instantly irratated and suprised the hell out of me, quite frankly. I walked into the living room and with my best black girl attitude (I'm white...but my very best friend from 5th grade - who I still haven't blogged about btw - SWEARS that I was black in another life...) and confronted my loving husband about what is obviously a SITUATION! I mean to tell you my neck was rollin and my cheeks were smackin! Girls...let me just share with you a little bit about me...

Feel free to review a few of the OCD's that I listed on my Random Thoughts page...but Daddy Dearest is an alkie. I was 35 years old before I got drunk for the FIRST TIME and I did not allow alcohol into my home until I hit 30 - which means my micro-beer drinking hubby went without - he was fine with this and understood and that's not the issue. Okay...having said THAT...on with the rest of the tale...

So when I peered into the cabinet and saw that there was a drasticly reduced amount of alcohol on the shelves, I was compelled to find out how often the man I love drinks and why he's hiding this fact from me. I see him drink beer...but not alcohol. In fact...unless we have a party, I don't see him pour any of the "hard stuff".

So I'm like, "What the HELL?" and he's all, "I drank it!" and I'm all..."WTF?!?!" and he's all..."What?"...and I said..."Um...DUDE! There was oodles of vodka in there and it's all gone!" He said..."That was from like 4 months ago!" I said..."AND WHEN ARE YOU DRINKING THIS SHIT?!?! Cuz I'm not seeing you pour yourself a drink every night and by the amount that is GONE...I'd have to say that you've had two drinks a night ever since the last damn PARTY!" And he was all..."Well, I'm not hiding it!" And I was all..." YA SURE AS HELL ARE!!!!!!!!!!"...and then I said..."SHIT! I don't care if you drink, but that is a LOT of vodka gone! Keep yourself in CHECK DUDE! DAMN!".

So that's how that went down. We have a great relationship. He drinks beer. Lotsa beer from the Deschutes Brewery. LOL @ That! It just sounds funny if you read that last part out loud..."We have a great relationship. He drinks beer." NIIIIICE. What I mean to say is that I don't mind it, which is probably something I WOULD have minded if that is how our relationship started, but we've been married almost 18 years...so I suppose I've decided in my mind that the dude isn't gonna be going anywhere any time soon, so let him drink...and we joke a lot with eachother which is why I felt that I could approach him in the way that I did. I thought about taking the soft approach...sitting down to see if we had a problem here, but I think I got my point across nicely.

Whew! I feel much better. I've been wanting to rant about this for over a month! Thanks for reading!

I love you...I really do...you can ask anyone! ~ Carm