Carm's Bliggety Bloggity

The House of AWESOMENESS!

Carmsblog — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:04:17 GMT

This is my HOUSE of AWESOMENESS!

We finally completed the "secret SPIDER project" and couldn't be happier with the results.

We are basically ready for Halloween! Just gotta buy the 12 pkgs. of LEMON JELL-O and the candy from Costco and we'll BE GOOD TO GO!!!!!! I'm so excited!

Fishin' Tales

Carmsblog — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:02:02 GMT

So my brother has gotten me REALLY excited about fishing lately. I'm outdoorsy like that, in case you hadn't noticed by now. I enjoy the camping and wilderness quite a bit.

So last Wednesday was my first time fishing since I was about 10. I didn't really know what to expect. But the Salmon are running here - which basically means that they are swimming UP STREAM to spawn and lay their eggs and apparently all the manly men like to head out and catch as many of these slippery suckers as they can, within their lawful limit, anyway.

So...I head over to my brother's house. We call him Unca John (n. [un-cah jawn] - an endearing name you call the Uncle of Katie and Alissa and brother of Carm). So Unca John and I pack up the SCION - exactly what I wanted in my week old car...fishing gear, and DEAD FISH. We head off to the PERFECT spot on the Puyallup (pyoo-awl-up) river. We get there, find out piece of river, along with 150 of our closest friends...

Unca John gives me one of his Fishin' Poles to borrow and said..."Okay Carm, cast it in there and CATCH SOMETHIN'!"...I, of course, gave off the aire that I knew EXACTLY what to do with this long stick with trecherous hook and heavy dangly lead weight at the bottom...as if I had been doing it for years.

Get ready for some Fishin Terminology! I place my finger over the line and flipped the BALE (the little wire thingy that either loosens or clamps down on the fishing line), swung the pole around my right side and in one motion, swung the pole towards the other side of the river bank and let go of the line with my finger. Much to my surprise, the hook and sinker fly through the air and actually head upstream, across the river, JUST LIKE I WANTED IT TO! AAAAhhh...this is the life! Remembering how to cast your line is what makes life grand!

So the key to river salmon fishing is to secure your "SINKER" (usually a piece of metal/lead that is used to weigh down your fishing line and take it to the river bed) to your fishing line...then about 2 feet after that you secure your "Lure" (usually something shiny or flashy in color to attract the eye of the fish) and "Hook" (uh...sharp piece of metal, that if all goes well, hooks into the mouth of the Salmon so that you can scream at the top of your lungs "FISH ON!!!!!") so that if you can imagine your sinker falling to the bottom of the river and bump bump bumping along the rocks on the bottom and the 2' peice of line with the hook on it just floating ahead of your sinker hoping to "floss" the Salmon. ("Flossing" is when you have a salmon at the bottom of the river just kinda swimming in limbo staying on one spot...it's down there opening and closing it's mouth "Mwah...mwah...mwah...mwah" and in the middle of one of those "MWAH'S" you hope that the hook/line kinda grazes their mouth so that all you have to do is feel a little bit of a tug in your pole then you YANK THE HELL OUTTA YOUR POLE, usually in an UPSWING motion and in doing so, it sets the hook in what you HOPE is the mouth of the salmon. Then you REEL THAT MOFO IN LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!)

So I'm knee deep/thigh deep in the river...which is surprisingly warm. Can't see into the water because the Puyallup (pyoo-awl-up) river is EXTREMELY milky and if you were to dip your hand in just an inch you wouldn't be able to see it. And I'm casting my line like I've been doing it FOREVER! I'm putting on QUITE THE SHOW! You all would have been REALLY REALLY impressed! I was quite shocked at my casting skills to be honest. Every once in awhile I'd screw up my cast and call it a "Girl Cast" and I made sure to address it MYSELF before any of my new Fishin' Buddies were able to call me out on it. I was sure I was being watched...because; A.) I'm lookin all SORTSA cute in my Levi Cuffed Capris and Pink Water Shoes and Pink Hooded Sweatshirt. and 2.) I was the only CHICK on the river hangin with da BOYZ!

So Wednesday was rather uneventful because I didn't get to take any Salmon home. I was completely okay with that because I had gotten some really good nibbles and had a few fish on my line, but was just unsuccessful at reeling any of them all the way in...they managed to unhook themselves somehow, probably because I hadn't caught the hook into their MOUTH, but got a fin or their side or something, which I've been assured isn't going to damage them in anyway. And also...? I learned that it needs to be a "Clean Catch". This means you hook them in the mouth. Hooking them any other way and you should throw them back. And it's a SPORT. You wanna make sure you catch one Fair and Square, ya know? I'm totally on board with that rule.

Saturday rolls around and we take my oldest daughter Katie and my hubby with us. Hubby didn't have a license so he was just gonna watch us fish. We get up at 4:15 AM and I get all cute and pinked out. This time donning a baseball cap. it's RAINING CATS & DOGS outside. We didn't care...we're gonna be standing in the river anyway...well...me and my BROTHER were anyway. Katie would fish off and on during the morning, but hubby? He didn't bring a hat...or long pants...or warm water repelling clothes. So...BUMMER! We knew the forecast too, so...the pitifulness of him sitting under the trees all curled up with his coat over his knees didn't REALLY make me feel sorry for him TOO MUCH...but I admit, I didn't want him to HATE these excusions based on this experience alone, because it was my HOPE that we would spend a nice sunny day doing this as a family TOGETHER.

So as dawn breaks over the river and the sky goes from black to gray to lighter gray...and even lighter still we begin fishing. I got some REALLY GOOD fish on the line! MAN O MAN! I thought for sure a couple times I was just moments from bringing a fish into the river bank! AAAAhhhh...but they managed to slip off my hook JUST as they jumped outta the water and during my final yank onto shore! DAMN!!!! But each time I got a bite or started to reel one in it made me feel like I just got there and the excitement of what could be, got me totally stoked all over again.

So the morning goes on and the rain keeps falling and seeping into the pseudo water-proof jacked that I borrowed from my brother, the bites on my line making me more and more excited as the day trickled by. I decided to give Katie my pole so I could take a swig off of my Pepsi and grab a strip of Beef Jerky (oh yes...I took this trip seriously...Beef Jerky @ 7AM while you're fishin' is THE ONLY WAY TO GO!) and Katie casts her first cast. She did a pretty good job for never EVER fishing before! A chip off the old block!!! GUESS WHAT?!?!?!!? SHE CAUGHT A FISH!!!! Hooked it RIGHT IN THE MOUTH! Got it on shore and EVERYTHING! I was bustin' my buttons!!!! She was so cute! "Moooommmmm!!! I GOT ONE I GOT ONE!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Unca John in the background, "Keep reelin her in baby girl!!!!! GO KATIE!"...Low and behold she got it on shore and it was a BIGGUN! About 22" and about 6 pounds!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!! HER FIRST SALMON!!!!! WOW!!!

That kid was grinning from ear to EAR!!!! And we fished for about another hour after that until the sprinkling turned into terrential downpours and realized that it just wasn't all that fun and we packed up and headed home SOAKING WET, but still happy as could be that Katie caught her first fish!

Hubby said, after we got into the car, "Sorry Carm that you didn't get a fish!" and I was all..."HELL! I don't care! Katie got one! THAT WAS AWESOME and did you see all the dudes around us getting them? That was awesome too! And besides, I got a few fish on the line, I just couldn't get them all the way in! It was only my second day! I'm cool!"...and I think he loved me a little bit more after I said that, because sometimes, it's not the NOT GETTING what you want...but the JOURNEY it takes to get there makes it special too!

So I love you...I really do...you can ask ANYONE!~ Love, Carm

THROAT NUBBINS!! YIPES!

Carmsblog — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 20:41:26 GMT

Okay people I have a NUBBIN growing on the roof of my mouth! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?!?!?! Do NOT make me go to WEB MD or I could spontaneously combust. I'm freakin out because; a.) my tongue has a mind of it's own and keeps going up there to feel it; b.) It's starting to hurt when I swallow because the back of my tongue hits it each time I swallow my spit; c.) I have tried scraping it with my finger...and it's not going away; d.) I've tried PUSHING THE HELL OUT OF IT and it won't go away; e.) I have no idea what kind of doctor treats this kind of thing. f.) this started yesterday and now it's kinda buggin me like, A LOT; g.) I'm trying to revert to my natural childbirth breathing techniques so that I don't die from the panic attack I'm currently having, but let's face it, the second the REAL childbrith pain hit, I was so drugged up I can barely remember anything after the word STADOL and EPIDURAL - basically the rest of the time I was in labor I was high/numb...GOOD TIMES - I highly recommend it.

Alrighty...thanks for reading and freaking out with me a little.

Brittle Nails and Nerve Endings

Carmsblog — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:37:07 GMT

I've quit biting my nails. It's a miracle.....for NOW.

The thing is, I've gotten acrylic nails at the salon for like the last 18 years. I love having them, but now I'm too cheap and let's face it. I cannot play my guitar as well - if at all - with them on. My uncle is about to disown me over that little minor detail. "How are you ever gonna be a serious Guitar Player with those GIIIIIRRRRRLY things on?"...so I have pryed them off for the last time. And it's been about 3 weeks.

My nails are PAPER THIN. I'm not kidding! Really thin and RAZOR SHARP! It's horrible. I'm keeping them painted right now because if they weren't painted they would be chewed down to little nubbins by now. And I really want to keep this promise to myself.

I always thought...if I could get skinny and grow my nails - I could be one hot momma. Sooo..I Need help! My nails are so thin that I can't stand it. I need them to get strong like NOW! So...I'm open to trying a few things. Whatever you suggest. I need ideas on how to strengthen my nails.

I can tell you two things....I don't want to take any kind of pills. And I don't need any nail biting advice. I strictly need ideas on things I can put ON MY NAILS to get them strong.

Okay....thanks...I love you...I really do...yo can ask anyone! ~ Carm

Farkle...it's much more than my favorite curse word!

Carmsblog — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:27:17 GMT

Holy Crap! FARKLE IS AMAZING! It's not just my new favorite CURSE word, and apparently I've been hiding under a rock because ladies? Are you sitting down?

THERE. ARE. FARKLE. PARTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Farkle is a dice game. Please tell me you have Facebook. You do? Great! So first...you MUST ADD ME! Carmen Hultman - that's me. kthanks. SECOND - LOAD THE DAMN GAME!

Once you start you may not stop...you have been warned. It is soooooooo damned addicting and fun.

So to recap: FARKLE is the new fave curseword for Carmen Hultman who you are going to add to FACEBOOK - like. IMMEDIATELY. At which point you shall dowload the game and let the GAMES BEGIN!

You are welcome...in advance. No...seriously...you don't need to get me anything. I do this all free of charge. Kloveyoumorethancornflakeswhichisalotifyouknowme

HOLY MOLEY! CT Look at THIS!

Carmsblog — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 20:17:19 GMT

Holy mackerel, CT...I found your new AVATAR! If Chi ever gets bumped for GNO host...THIS IS TOTALLY GONNA BE YOUR AVATAR!

IS PNN BROKEN?!?!?! OH NO!

Carmsblog — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 18:31:53 GMT

Where is everyone? I'm confuzzled. My comments are showing up weird and nothing is updating and I'm getting skerrd. IS ANYONE OUT THERE? WILL SMIFF? OPRAH? HELLO? NANNER? ARE YOU THERE? SALLY? Whaaaa? Where are you guys? KATE?? KIMBER? CT? MoM?? WHERE ARE YOU?

You know you BLOG too much when...

Carmsblog — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 23:39:58 GMT

I dreamt about ALL of you last night. When I say ALL of you…I mean ALLL OF YOU.

Here’s how it shook down, I was camping, and along comes a nekkind nannerbrains with a Jew-Fro that went on for what seemed like DAYS. And when I asked her what she used to make her curls so cute and shiny, she said “Nannersmoothie”. And I was shocked at that answer, because I had used nannersmoothie lots of times, but I could get my hair to do that.

Then there was Sally…it was as if she was sitting on my shoulder with her chin in the palm of her hand telling me what a great job I was doing and making me feel great about every decision I was making.

Then there was HC. With her toned tan legs that went to her armpits. She had her entire amazing shoe collection with her trailing behind her in a Lil’ red wagon.

CT and Ms. Santos were arm in arm sharing libations and yelling“Fuck YOU’s” to their Bosses.

Annie was there, but as her alter ego and she always had this evil little giggle that escaped her as if she had just done something so terribly wrong that once you find out what it is, you are going to be sorry that she ever laid a foot on the planet.

Postal was there too, seemed like every time that I turned around he was pulling Annie’s ponytails and running off into the distance.

Snotty was there so we could “praise her”.

Hali was in my dream too – she was up front on a stage wearing all black and was reading her poetry and we’d all snap our fingers when she was done and pass around a doobie.

WMH was there too! She had a hat collection that would make a grown man cry and she shared with us all and we looked cool.

Kimber was hopping around the campground. Seems like every time I looked in her direction all I saw was her little bunny ass hopping away as if she was saying “KISS MY ASS” and apparently HC had beat me to it because of the lipstick back there already.

Philo was there, marching in a Gay Pride Parade, which caught me off guard. Seems like a campground is the LAST place you’d find a large population of gay ANYTHING…but she was having a great time!

Chita-Dashian was there in all her GLORY, holding a beautiful bouquet of roses, just like a bride. She was pretty.

Kate and Suz were buzzing around together, The Fairy was letting Suz hold onto one of her braids because there’s no way she could see when she covers her eyes like that. We started calling Kate a “Seeing Eye Fairy”.

Diva was selling her wares at the Gay Pride Parade and everywhere you looked people were lined up to buy her amazing bags. Somehow, her bags, had broken through the gender barrier and even though this was a Gay Pride Parade, Men high and LOW had one of her bags. She was an overnight sensation.

Matt Damon showed up and apologized for dumping me in vegas and I snubbed him and it felt GREAT!

So that’s it…that’s my dream. And the funniest part was that you were all either your avatars or the snapshots from the Phreak. So you were just little squares following me and each other around.

I can feel it building...

Carmsblog — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:21:11 GMT

I just horked one of these down and now, I fear that I may be sick. Not only did I hork one of these delicious white cake with white icing and sprinkles donuts down, I washed it down with Pepsi and my brain is working overtime. I don't think I can sit still and let me tell you something else, ladies and gentlemen, my eyeballs are BUGGIN OUT! WHEW!

Sooooooo...I'm at work...high on donuts. Maybe these were "magic donuts"...kinda like "magic brownies"? I dunno...but I feel REALLY REALLY GOOOOOOOOOOD!

I love you, Carm

Soda Tab Purses! OH SO CHIC!

Carmsblog — Sat, 30 May 2009 00:43:50 GMT

Found these purses @ the ocean last week. I had to share it since I just saw Suz's post about the candy wrapper purse. THESE PURSES ARE DARLING! The cool part? This one is using silver colored thread. But look what happens when you use different colored threads!!!!!!!

And it don't stop at purses. They actually make bracelets outta this stuff too! It's AWESOME!!!!

Pine Cone Patrol and "other" Patrols

Carmsblog — Wed, 27 May 2009 04:35:45 GMT

Camping in the EVERGREEN STATE has it's challenges. It also has it's rewards, like giving me great material for my BLOG. I submit to you: PINE CONE PATROL!

So...it's Thursday evening. We arrive at the most spectacular campsite known to MAN! And it's time to start unloading the PURPLE CARM-KILLING MACHINE (a.k.a. my mini-van.)

The husbandito and I are on TENT-PATROL. And I send the little ladybug spawn out to collect sandcastle buckets full of pine cones.

I don't know why, but G-D has blessed me with the gift of creating the BEST Campfires. I'm an ace at it. And such as life, we always neglect to bring enough newspaper to start the damned things, so I came up with the PINE CONE PATROL. Little did I know - this was the start of what would shortly become my theme of the Memorial Day Weekend and my way to tie in the military-esqueness of the whole 4-day weekend trip.

It started with the daily PINE CONE PATROL! Followed by, BATHROOM PATROL, SHOWER PATROL, HIKE PATROL, TENT STAKING PATROL, SLEEPING BAG PATROL, MOSQUITO PATROL, FIRE POKING PATROL, LUNCH PATROL, DINNER PATROL, SODA PATROL, Pumping up the AIR MATTRESS PATROL...I mean, you get the jyst, right? I had a "Patrol" for everything that EVERYONE did @ Camp and beyond. I have no idea why I'm still alive sitting here typing this...but for the fact that I was in charge of FIRE PATROL and COOKING PATROL, the entire camp would have a.) frozen to death and 2.) starved to death. So..either way...I WIN...

Also...while I was away I was on BlackBerry Patrol and Twitter Patrol and Facebook Patrol, making sure that those who follow my every electronic move were fully aware of all my actions and how I felt at any given moment. Technology is great, isn't it?

Comic - did you like Calvin & Hobbes?

Carmsblog — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:16:42 GMT

Comic - this one is pretty damn good...

Comic - Try these on for size

Carmsblog — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:40:59 GMT

Comic - that damned rat pic has GOT to GO! So I was told that you'd consider a new AVATAR, so here I am.

Whatever you have mist exude pissiness, so I've attempted to locate three items for submission.

#1 Ms. Pissy Frog

#2 Pissy Chick

And then there's classic Calvin and Hobbes as entry # 3.

I hope you like one of these. If you have something specific you'd like me to focus on - theme, specific character, etc - just let me know.

I love ya! ~ Carm

WRITING - This is for you!

Carmsblog — Fri, 15 May 2009 04:42:57 GMT

It took me long enough! This was a challenge. And I obviously need to broaden my horizons and read up on this fine lady...

This one is gorgeous and I suppose I could have come up with a real life picture, but this one spoke to me.

I hope you like it and it was worth the wait! :o)

Another Great Wal-Mart Story

Carmsblog — Thu, 14 May 2009 04:27:00 GMT

Here's a great one!

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee:    'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee:   'What you want on da cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

STOP LAUGHING!

    You can't fix stupid.